Well, today is my first post. I created a blog a few years ago, but did not really get into it. To be honest, I often feel like people create a certain life, just so they can post it on a blog. They can then pat themselves on their backs for their accomplishments. Sounds negative; I know. So as summer has set in, I felt I should regain some positiveness in my life. I began thinking of different ways to try and change my way of thinking and feeling. One of my closest and dearest friends has really been ringing in my thoughts lately as she tries to remind me that you can only control what you do, not others. What a simple concept but how true. So as I sit on my couch this evening, I am unfortunately not feeling in such high spirits. I was so looking forward to summer with my kids. I truly enjoy my kids being with me and find I really miss them when they are at school. My oldest child is going into 5th grade, my middle child is going into 2nd, and my baby is going into kindergarten. It is such a big year of transitions ahead so I was especially looking forward to spending every moment with my children. We spend the summer at our camp at Sacandaga Lake. I have so many memories from my childhood spending summers at the lake. Now my family has a place which we truly love. I love creating those memories with my children.
So, as this 4th of July weekend approached, the kids were filled with excitement. We were having our closest friends up for the weekend and we were all looking forward to the annual Beach Party and fireworks. The Sunday was still a beach day, ,although the weather was not the greatest and we were all pretty tired. While still trying to enjoy what was left of the weekend, I went to turn and step away from the picnic table and I heard "snap." Down I went. Long story short, I broke my lateral malleous bone and am now in a giant air cast. I am waiting for 10 days to determine my fate; surgery, or an "actual cast." The break was what they call a "comminuted fracture" which means the bone has broken into a number of pieces. Fantastic! I am so upset I think I am still in shock. All I can think is how am I going to be a good parent, not to mention a fun parent, to my children this summer. They want to run, play, and swim. I want them to run, play, and swim, but how. I know I am wallowing in self pity right now, and my problem is noting compared to many, but....I am frustrated. I need to figure it out. I am just not there yet.
